Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be. ~Thomas à Kempis, Imitation of Christ, c.1420
One of the things that always makes me laugh/cry/shake my head/shake my fist/make plans to leave the planet is people who angrily, and all too often violently, berate, belittle, and judge others for their life decisions when they CLEARLY have not got their own shit together. Forget just the simple idea of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. How about checking what’s stuck on the bottom of your own?
Angry fist shaking aside, you even need to be cruel or self-righteous to find yourself making judgments on how people live their lives. Even the most kind hearted of us are prone to occasionally making uniformed judgments of people, or trying hard to change someone we are certain needs our help.
If there is something about someone in your life you are desperately trying to change, stop and ask yourself if perhaps they are where they are because that is simply where their path has led them at this point in their life. Then, take a moment and ask yourself if something about that person’s situation resonates with you because of something you need to change about yourself.
We find it significantly easier to poke and prod at someone else, and sigh because they aren’t making the changes you expect them to make, than to poke and sigh at ourselves for not making the changes we’d like to make. The problem with that is, the result is usually a worn out and disillusioned you.
So, if you’re feeling irritated with the people around you, or trying to make them behave differently, take some time to ask yourself if what is bothering you is really how it reflects something about yourself that you need to work on. It doesn’t have to be an exact mirror, but maybe something similar, a certain impatience, anger or intolerance in some situations that you see reflected back at you.
To quote Michael Jackson:
I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror,
I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways
No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make The Change