Be the Light in the Darkness


light-in-darkness

I feel like many of the people who follow this blog are spiritually minded, empathic, lightworkers, healers and peace loving people. I like to think that you read my posts to look for insight into life and living as a better person. I try to share my own experiences in exploring spiritual growth and self-awareness. I occasionally get a bit ranty about social injustice, but for the most part it has been an introspective journey.

Now, I suspect that many people who think (or feel) like I do have hit a wall. The state of the world and the blooming of racism, hatred and social injustice has left a huge, painful hole in our heart. Those of us who are extremely empathic may literally feel the effects physically. We are at a loss for what to do.

I have historically tried not to be too political on this blog (ranty bits aside), but this may mark a change in that policy. Not so much to argue which party is better or worse, but because I feel that the time has come to stop being a quiet supporter of human rights and become a more vocal supporter. It is one thing to simply believe. It is another to do.

water-drop-384649_640I think that part of the problem is that most of us who are highly sensitive, loving people tend to try to avoid negativity as much as possible. We avoid it because of its effect on us physically and mentally. (Not to mention, people might notice us!) We try to spread peace quietly and unobtrusively, but we don’t want to cause too much fuss, not ripple the water too much. Certainly not make any waves.

Unfortunately, it would seem to me that the time has come to break out of our comfort zones and start making sure that EVERYONE knows that we stand up for peace, social justice, and humanity. Too many politicians take for granted the words of a vocal few ignorant, hateful people whose ideals match their own. We need to make Humanity the new political party. We need to do our parts to not let the last 150 years of civil rights and social justice backslide any further than they already have.

What can we do? Find the niche that speaks to you. Write about it. Call your government representatives. Counter messages of hate and disenfranchisement with those of love and inclusion. Learn more about religions that are different than yours and speak up to defend them when you hear someone speak disparagingly about them. Come up with ready responses to hate speech, racism, bigotry and intolerance. Be an example.

How can we protect ourselves from the emotional and physical impact this is bound to have on us? I have written a few things on this you can refer back to, and I’ll try to share more helpful information going forward. Meanwhile, you can check out this post:

I feel like one of the important things to try to remember when we’re working to counter intolerance is to not let ourselves drop to their level. It’s so easy to feel defensive and argumentative, to let hateful words spark our own hateful responses. Rise up. Try to keep your words calm and rational. This is why I recommend having some prepared responses for certain situations, it allows you the opportunity to step back and respond rationally, with less emotion. Don’t be condescending.

Do your research. Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet (even things you agree with). If you’re going to share educational information or statistics, make sure they’re accurate, maybe go one step further and provide resources. Be the smart one.

candle-1338927_640For my first step forward into the darkness, I will be attempting to use this blog to bring awareness to social issues and hopefully sharing some ideas for what spiritually minded, empathic people can do to help. Additionally, I will continue to try to encourage and support you with guidance on self-awareness and spiritual growth. It’s time to step out of the shadows and do our parts to bring light into the darkness. Be the beautiful lightworkers you are.

An’ do what ye will…


Forest lightPeople who have made the decision to walk down the path of “non-traditional” spirituality, or have chosen to openly declare themselves a psychic or a medium, know what an interesting and sometimes extremely challenging path that can be.

There are, of course, inherent challenges to any type of spiritual path. To do it right, you really need to be willing to work on your own personal emotional and spiritual baggage. Much of what we share with others, be it in a psychic reading or spiritual counseling, is the result of our own experiences, soul searching, facing our inner demons, and learning to trust in what is frequently an intangible source of information and guidance.

And then, there are the social challenges. In my experience, things are a lot better today than they were 20-25 years ago. One of my first psychic fairs was picketed. I was accused of being a Satanist. One “friend” regularly told me he feared for my soul and that I was going to go to hell. Fortunately, I do not hold much stock in the “going to hell” aspect, and when I told him I thought he was hilarious, he gave up on me. 🙂

For these reasons, a lot of psychics over the years have taken on pseudonyms. Primary to avoid professional or private life repercussions related to what might happened if the “wrong person” discovered what they do.

Forest BrookIn recent years, despite setbacks caused by high profile scam artists or well-intentioned fakes, the general metaphysical world seems to be viewed with a more open mind. Some of the same growing public open mindedness that has helped other fringe communities slowly find more mainstream acceptance has at least minimally decreased the number of people who freak out, react negatively, or sidle cautiously away when they hear about someone’s psychic work. At the minimum, I think there is more of a sense of live and let live. As long as you aren’t hurting someone, go for it.

For those who vehemently object to or publically scoff at the idea of psychic phenomenon, energy healing and people who communicate with spirits, it’s an interesting juxtaposition of ignorant and hypocritical thought patterns. I’ve heard the argument that science has been unable to conclusively prove that extrasensory perception, psychic intuition, or spirit communication works. Yet, ironically, some of the same people who forcefully deny the possibility of psychic phenomenon frequently believe fervently in an unseen, omnipotent god force or benevolent messiah.

These same people believe in the power of prayer, messages from god, and communing with Jesus, despite the fact that science has been unable to satisfactorily prove the existence of any of these beings either. Religious leaders heal with their words and their presence. They share the messages from God as presented by people who were called prophets. All the while only having minimal tangible proof of their existence.

I find it ironic that these beliefs somehow lead people to the conviction that it’s impossible for there to be unexplained phenomenon outside of a church, synagogue, or other religious institution. That they can’t find it within their hearts to believe that the God who works in mysterious ways can somehow work in other, even more mysterious ways.

Do not confuse a psychic or other intuitive who does not consider themselves religious with not being an otherwise extremely spiritual person. Most true, conscientious psychics work from a very strict set of moral, spiritual, and ethical standards.

Azure BluetVarious versions of the adage “And it harm none, do what ye will” hold sway in Wiccan and psychic communities. The laws of karma have bearing around the world, and the idea that you give back what you give out. They work in the best interest of all involved, and they learn important rules of ethics, and seeking the permission of the people they’re reading for. Many of them spend years working on their own personal baggage in order to be better able to help with yours.

That’s not to say that every practicing psychic is a good person, or follows these rules exactly. Any more than every religious leader is an infallible, godly person. We are all human beings. We make bad choices, and we bear the consequences of these decisions one way or another.

So, I’ve rambled on for quite a while now, but the main point of this conversation was to remind people to think about the mysterious ways the universe works. Whether you’re considering someone’s psychic abilities, their belief in the paranormal, or even their religious beliefs, consider the possibilities presented by the things you DO believe in. Maybe there’s a lot more out there than even you believe.

New Psychic Self Awareness Class Series Starting June 18th


Beginning Psychic Awareness Class Flyer 1 page

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Forgive Others, Heal Yourself


Forgiveness is divine, we’re told. But what does that really mean?

DSCF3483Throughout our lives there are bound to be people who trample on our feelings and hurt us emotionally, even physically or financially. Pretty horrible things can happen in life, and beyond the immediate damage caused by the incident, lingering anger, grief, pain and other negative feelings can create a lasting effect on our bodies and minds.

There are a few aspects of forgiveness to consider. First of all, harboring all those negative thoughts and feelings toward the person who has done you harm really doesn’t DO anything to hurt them back, punish them for their wrong, or teach them lesson. That’s what karma, universal law, or the legal system is for. When you forgive them, you’re not necessarily changing the fact that they will, on some level, get what is coming to them.

On the other hand, think about how you feel when you think of that person. You might feel tense and angry, your shoulders tighten, you grind your teeth, or you feel sad and lonely, give yourself a stomach ache or a headache. By allowing one person and their actions to have a lingering affect on you like that, you’re only punishing yourself, not them. If they’re real jerks, they probably don’t even care what you think or feel.

Additionally, it’s not unusual that a lot of the turmoil, anger and negativity we feel about a person or situation is not so much towards them, but towards ourselves. We feel stupid for getting ourselves into the situation, for trusting someone we shouldn’t have. We beat ourselves up over what we could have done differently, for not seeing the situation coming in time to stop it or fix it. We feel regret for things that are lost.

So, equally, when we take the steps to forgive someone else, we need to also forgive ourselves. Not always easy, I know, but when you do, it is immensely freeing. Here is a visualization that I recently led as a guided meditation, but something that you can also easily do at home or sitting quietly at your desk:

  • Take your mind to the person who has caused this hurt or wronged you in some way. Take inventory of the emotions that you feel when you think about the person or situation. How do you feel physically?
  • One by one, recognize each emotion or physical reaction and let it go. Put them in a brightly colored balloon, let go of them, and send them gently floating away.
  • Send this person love and forgiveness and let go of them. Imagine physically cutting the tie that keeps dragging you back to that painful moment, like a big pair of scissors cutting the string.
  • Take a moment to reflect on the space where you kept those negative thoughts and emotions. Fill that space with love. Imagine it healing the damage left behind.
  • Reflect on the positive lessons you have learned because of this person or situation. Has it made you smarter? Stronger? Did you learn something new about yourself because of it?
  • Take one last moment, feel your own power and strength. Send yourself warmth, love, and forgiveness. You might even find it most effective to say the words out loud “I forgive myself.”

Picture 240You can do this as many times as you need to, to help you let go of the negative emotions and hurt caused by others. You might feel like you need to do it more than once for the same person or situation. But, each time you do, remember that forgiving yourself is an equally important part of the healing process.

Forgive and let it go.

Why I Choose to Teach


iris FBAs I was planning my upcoming class on psychic self awareness, I began to consider the reasons why I share the things I share on this blog and why it is I feel I should teach. It’s pretty easy to say, “the universe/God/powers that be say that I should teach, and therefore I am”. But after thinking about it, I realized that in way, that is sort of copping out, not taking responsibility for your decisions or actions. Plus I am a fan of free will, so hey.

What I want to offer to the world is a common sense, real, no frills introduction to intuition, psychic awareness, self-awareness, spiritual and social responsibility. While I appreciate the work that many of the big name psychics and mediums over the last decades have done to help make this field more mainstream, I also feel that it has in some ways also created a little bit of a sense of elitism. It is easy to start to feel like you have to have been born with or developed astounding psychic gifts at a very early age in order to have them at all.

In truth, you do not need a PR team and flashy gifts to learn to recognize and use your own intuition. You don’t need your own television show to help people and make the world a better place. With a little guidance and practice anyone can become more aware of themselves and the world around them and begin to build on that awareness.

Whether you simply want to learn how to be more intuitive or if you think that you would like to learn skills that will enable you to guide and heal others, it is possible to find a path that suits you. You don’t need to give up your religious beliefs, and you should never feel you need to compromise your values. Like anyone who works to teach, heal and guide others, it should always be done in the highest and best interest of all those involved.

Sometimes it is hard for those new to the concept to see past the glitter and more seemingly esoteric theories. They are intimidated, uncertain and even frightened of what they don’t understand. I was very intimidated when I first began to explore the idea intuition and self-awareness, but I was fortunate enough to have a teacher who had a steady, no-nonsense, grounded, and loving philosophy, and I know first hand the life changing effects that working on yourself and developing your own spiritual awareness can have. (Thank you, Ruthanne!)

Beaver Lake Nature Center 5.11.08 005I have met many wonderful, grounded and “real” psychics, healers and teachers who have brought so much light to the world, it is a legacy I would like to see carried on. There may still be a place for the showier side of psychic abilities and awareness, and if that is something that you are drawn to in time, or if you want to go out in search of more wondrous and mysterious things, there are always those who are willing to share and teach you, and you will find them when you’re ready.

In the meantime, I feel drawn to share what I have learned over the past 20 plus years and help every day people develop their self-awareness, find their own light, expand from there if they would like, and help them begin to share it with the rest of the world.

Love & Light,

Tricia

Beginning Psychic Self Awareness Classes


Beaver Lake Nature Center 5.11.08 009Sometimes we reach a point in our life when we are searching for that “something more”, trying to figure out what exactly it is we are doing on our life path and what we could be doing differently. Maybe we just wish we could do something to make the world a little bit better place, understand the reasons why we feel the things we feel, or make a little more sense out of some of the mysteries around us.

This class series is designed to help you understand psychic awareness, develop and listen to your intuition, and learn the basics of metaphysics. As your guide along the way, Tricia offers more than 20 years of experiences in learning about and sharing intuition, psychic counseling, psychic readings, healing and more. It is her wish to help other people find their way, become more aware of themselves and the world around them, and light the way for others.

THIS IS A SIX WEEK CLASS SERIES ON MONDAY EVENINGS, BEGINNING MONDAY, MARCH 31ST 7-9PM

7PM TO 9PM IN DOWNTOWN BANGOR. MAINE

IN THIS SIX CLASS SERIES YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT:

  • Perceiving and understanding energy flow
  • Recognizing & Using Intuition
  • Self-Awareness: Grounding/Centering/Protection
  • Spiritual/Karmic Law
  • Meditation
  • Mindfulness

COST FOR THE CLASS IS $60

CLASS SIZE IS LIMITED, PLEASE REGISTER BY MARCH 29TH

TO REGISTER EMAIL TRICIAGRIFFITH@ROADRUNNER.COM

[Recommended Reading]: The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield


celestine

In the rain forests of Peru, an ancient manuscript has been discovered. Within its pages are 9 key insights into life itself — insights each human being is predicted to grasp sequentially; one insight, then another, as we move toward a completely spiritual culture on Earth. Drawing on ancient wisdom, it tells you how to make connections among the events happening in your life right now and lets you see what is going to happen to you in the years to come. – Excerpt from the back cover.

The Celestine Prophecy is a book I like to go back and re-read periodically. It’s a great adventure story in itself, but the message it shares about being aware of the way people, places and events are connected is really profound and can lead you to change how you look at and think about the world around you.

Trust Your Intuition


Deep Blue - Tricia GriffithI’ve been meaning to write about intuition for a while now, but I was giving myself a neat little roadblock by feeling like I had to get all technical about “what is intuition?”. I did a bit of research, looked at various definitions and explanations of what intuition is, from psychological to anthropological. Of course, this all led me to dead stand still, because if you try to look at intuition in such a scientific manner, it’s pretty mindboggling.

In reality, or at least in my reality anyway, it doesn’t necessarily matter how intuition works or why it exists, but simply that it does. It doesn’t matter what your beliefs are, if you’re working spiritually or scientifically, or if you’re baking or raising children. It’s those moments of inspiration, those sudden flashes of intuition, that instance when you “just know” what you need to do. That is intuition.

Working spiritually or psychically, intuition is the foundation of recognizing and understanding our gifts and how to use them. Perhaps it is our connection to our higher selves or a higher power, but whatever it is, it’s an awareness that on some level, you have the answer.

You don’t have to be working as a healer or a counselor to begin to listen to and trust your intuition. Some call it instinct, a gut feeling, mother’s intuition, inspiration, et cetera, but however you name it, it is at its most basic, trusting yourself.

How do you know your intuition is working? It’s that nagging feeling you’re missing something, or need to do something. Perhaps you’ve been feeling all day like you need to call a friend or a family member, and when you finally do, you realize they were in trauma or really needed to hear a friendly voice.

Raindrops - Tricia GriffithIt might be mother’s intuition, just knowing what your child needs, from instinctual care to that feeling that they’re up to no good. You might be working out some sort of problem that on the surface is very cerebral, scientific or intellectual, but then you get a sudden flash of an idea just where you need to look, or just what formula you need to use.

Many artists work intuitively, those little bursts of inspiration of what form lives in that block of wood they are about to sculpt, what mixture of color and textures that painting needs, or where to point their camera. Taking an intuitive leap leads to new paths of creativity.

How is your intuition trying to get your attention? Unfortunately it’s not always as simple as a sticky note left on the refrigerator that says you might want to avoid that lunch meat, or you might want to phone your friend, she’s having a bad day.

Sometimes you “just know”, but often it’s matter of repetition. If I’m not paying close attention to those little feelings of “I should do this” or “I feel like something is wrong here”, I will start to notice that it comes up more than once. So, I go by the “rule of three”, if it comes to mind, or presents itself in some other way, three times, I really better pay attention to that message.

It might be as simple as, you see shop you haven’t noticed before and think to yourself, I really should stop there some time. A day or so later you find yourself going by it and noticing it there again. Then of course, the next day it catches your attention again, so okay, perhaps you should really stop in. Maybe you just find that piece of furniture you’ve been wanting for years, or maybe you find out that an old friend you had lost touch with owns the shop.

Three Watermelon Gerbera - Tricia GriffithYou don’t need to wait for that third reminder. If you get a feeling, a flash of a thought or an idea, just stop for a moment. Quiet your mind and ask yourself if that feeling is relevant. Ask your higher self or higher power if it’s something that you need to address. If you’re not sure if it’s for you or for someone you know, ask that question too. The same source within that brought you the intuition can help you figure out what you’re supposed to do with it.

Whatever source you think that intuition comes from, however it manifests itself in your life, it is well worth the practice of paying just a bit closer attention to what it’s all about. This could mean being aware of when a friend needs to talk about something painful. It could be that intuitive feeling that you need to cut something specific out of your diet.

Intuition and awareness walk hand in hand. Being self aware allows you to recognize those little intuitive feelings. Stretching beyond yourself and becoming aware of the world around you and your place it in can help you to recognize intuitively where you need to be, how you can positively change your world.

Walk Your Talk


Stone Angel - Tricia GriffithFor many years, I have been leery of “religion”, because for the longest time, some of the meanest people I met were being so in the name of their interpretation of their religion.

In the early 90’s when I first began finding my spiritual path, things that were “New Age” were often wrongly associated with Satanism. I participated in psychic fairs where religious people picketed outside. I hung out in a metaphysical bookstore where occasionally people would come in and point out that we were Satanic because we had a [hand-painted Native American horse] skull in the window.

I canvassed door to door for an endangered species organization and the people with the most outward displays of their religion on their homes were often the cruelest. “I’ll just shoot the wolves myself”, and “I’d rather save babies than nature” (I’m still trying to figure that one out.) were common harsh comments.

Then, of course I could go on and on about the centuries of wars waged in the name of religion. But then, you would all fall asleep or start to wonder what my point was.

Shrine - Tricia GriffithFortunately, over the years, I have met people who were “religious” who actually weren’t harsh or cruel. I met a woman who, many years ago, made a deal with God, that if her father survived an illness, she would give up junk food. He survived, and she did give up junk food. She also was a kind, gentle and generous person whose faith in her religious beliefs and her actual practice of them, I greatly admired.

More and more, I find people I can have a conversation with about differing religious and spiritual beliefs, and it doesn’t turn into an argument. I meet people who share their view of the way their spiritual world works not only with words, but with action. They love their neighbor, they help others, they are kind to their fellow human beings; without an agenda, without standing on a sidewalk shouting about sin, without calling their fellow spiritual beings Satanists.

Beaver Lake Nature Center - Tricia GriffithI believe that whatever religion you feel is "the right one”, it is your right one. The trick is not to judge others for their beliefs. First of all, if their spiritual path makes them a better, kinder person, who are we to judge how they got there? Secondly, before you judge another person’s beliefs or behavior, you better take a good look at your own.

Before you shout your beliefs from the rooftops and begrudge people the path they walk, think about the words you’re speaking. Are you walking your talk? Can you say, without a doubt, that you are living the ideal of your own spiritual beliefs?

I personally believe that the world would be a much better place if people stopped preaching their beliefs and starting living them.

You Are What You Think


I was in the grocery store the other day, I have started going very early since I’m not overly patient with crowds and the inevitable dodging of carts and fellow shoppers and people stumbling around in some sort of shopping coma. Not particularly enlightened of me, I know. Given the right frame of mind, I can navigate crowds pretty well, but I digress. That’s a subject for another post.

I was not so early shopping that other people didn’t have the same idea. I was in one aisle with another woman and her cart. She attempted to move out of my way, but ended up putting her cart right in front of the section of shelf I was headed for. Being in a fairly congenial mood towards my fellow early shoppers, I apologized to her and said I just needed to get that thing right there. She pulled her cart out of the way, also apologizing, which I thought was nice. But as she pushed her cart away, she said something which struck me, “I’m always in the way, it’s what I’m good at.”

Now, said in one way, you might think she was just laughing it off people sometimes do, a bit of self depreciating humor. But she sounded so resigned to this fact, it was almost heartbreaking.

I recall one of my favorite movies, a 2004 film called What the Bleep Do We Know!?It can be a truly life changing film if you take the time to think about its message. And maybe, as I think back to it now, remind yourself periodically of its message.

What the Bleep Do We Know!? mixes metaphysics, quantum physics, self discovery and a little bit of magic to show us a different way of looking at the world around us, and more importantly, ourselves. From the website synopsis;

“It is part documentary, part story, and part elaborate and inspiring visual effects and animations. The protagonist, Amanda, played by Marlee Matlin, finds herself in a fantastic Alice in Wonderland experience when her daily, uninspired life literally begins to unravel, revealing the uncertain world of the quantum field hidden behind what we consider to be our normal, waking reality.”

Woven throughout the storyline, top scientists and mystics offer commentary and discussion. “They are also there to introduce the Great Questions framed by both science and religion, which divides the film into a series of acts. Through the course of the film, the distinction between science and religion becomes increasingly blurred, since we realize that, in essence, both science and religion describe the same phenomena.”

While I’ve slightly digressed again from the point of this blog, the movie itself is a helpful tool to understand what I am sharing, which is mainly the power of words. Particularly the effect your words have on yourself. How often has the woman at the grocery store said “I’m always in the way.”? Think about saying that about yourself with such resignation frequently, maybe even daily. What effect do you think that would have on you, on your psyche? How long before you truly feel that maybe you are useful for nothing except being in the way?

Another reason I brought up the movie is because of a specific aspect of it. Part way through the movie, the protagonist comes across an exhibit of some of the work done by Masaru Emoto, whose work includes studying changes in the shape of ice crystals in water exposed to various stimuli. Using purified water, he first studied the effects of music on the formation of ice crystals and found that “All the classical music that we exposed the water to resulted in well-formed crystals with distinct characteristics. In contrast, the water exposed to violent heavy metal music resulted in fragmented and malformed crystals at best.”

Next, they wondered what would happen if they wrote words on paper and wrapped the paper around the bottle with the word facing in. Although it didn’t seem logical that the water would ‘read’ the word, the music experiments had led them to realize strange things could happen. They wrote “Thank You” and “Fool” on two separate samples, and the results did not disappoint. “Water exposed to “Thank you” formed beautiful hexagonal crystals but water exposed to the word “Fool” produced crystals similar to the water exposed to heavy-metal music, malformed and fragmented.” A nice synopsis of the study can be found here.

We could hang ourselves up on the science, argue that water can’t read words, wonder at what other forces could contribute to the changes Mr. Emoto found in the water crystals. But maybe it is simply intent. Thoughts. Energy. As the movie’s protagonist examines the photos of ice crystals in the exhibit, a stranger in the crowd turns to her and says, “Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If thoughts can do that to water, imagine what our thoughts can do to us.” (See the scene on YouTube)

Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

It is hard, I know first hand, not to let your thoughts become the weights that drag you down. Even if you are tired, does repeated thinking, or saying “I am so tired” help you in any way? Or does it simply contribute to the energy of tiredness around you, magnify and intensify, perpetuate the tired feeling. Maybe you feel silly saying out loud “I am energetic!” But perhaps something like that, redirecting your thoughts, focusing on something other than being tired, takes away the amount of energy you put into thinking about being tired, dwelling on it, and making it real. If you are always waiting for the next bad thing to happen, it probably will. Think instead about the positive things you hope to accomplish in your life. Redirect your thoughts to those things.

I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.

A significant proportion of the human body is water. While you’re not likely to freeze yourself solid and examine your ice crystals, you can imagine what they might look like if you did. What would your water crystals look like if you were constantly telling yourself that you are fat, lazy, useless… or always in the way? Imagine the toxic state we put ourselves in by not having kind words for ourselves.

It applies to our physical being, it applies to our life situations. If we think all the time how tight money is, how perilously close to broke we are, how we’re always struggling to make ends meet, are we perpetuating that situation by constantly feeding energy to it? If we can change our focus to positive thoughts regarding our finances, can we change our fortunes?

All the things I want and need come to me.

Years ago, we learned a little positive affirmation trick for money.

Thank you, God, for a miracle involving money today.

Repeat that to yourself. Then, when money comes to you, even if it’s just loose change in the couch cushions, repeat your thank you for a miracle involving money today. It works!

If you find yourself in this rut of negative thoughts and feelings, stop for a moment. Stop the words. Find something nice to say about yourself, or choose a positive affirmation to repeat to yourself and change your thought pattern.

I am beautiful, positive, happy and thankful that all good things flow to me.

If you are struggling and down on yourself, ask someone who loves you to give you positive things about yourself. Think about the positive things in your life, think about your ideal self and voice it out loud. You are a beautiful person, you are a miracle, it is time you treated yourself like one…