Oh the Ruts We Dig
21 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: Change, Creativity, Life, Self Reflection, self-awareness
Most human beings are creatures of habit. We get up at the same time every day, have our coffee, got to work, come home, do dinner, housework, evening entertainment, bedtime, do it again the next day… Okay, so maybe I’m oversimplifying just a bit, but you get the idea!
I have written about change before in this blog and I’ll probably end up on the same soap box, but maybe they’re things we all need to hear more than once, anyway. The source of most of our ruts in life is usually something like an aversion to, or fear of, change. Most of us really long for change, but we keep on doing the same old thing and then wonder why nothing new happens.
The Easy Rut
Change can seem complicated. For example; we know that maybe our diet is not the greatest, but it so much easier to buy the same groceries and plan the same microwaveable menu each week, or make the same run to McDonald’s for lunch every day. Eating better means we have to maybe do a little research into new things to cook and better ingredients to buy. And who has time for THAT? I have Facebook games to maintain!
Try something new that seems like it would be a little difficult or inconvenient. Just for fun! Find an interesting recipe that involves extra ingredients and chopping up of assorted veggies. Make yourself something fun to take to lunch tomorrow instead of running out for fast food.
The Comfort Rut
We all have our comfort zones. They might also fall into sort of a sense of security rut. Someone might work every day in a job that doesn’t suit them or challenge them, but at least it’s safe, right? At least I get a paycheck every week? I am comfortable here in my cube. Going out and finding something new and different means leaving my comfort zone, having to learn a new job, meet new people. Scary!
Okay so you don’t have to run out and find a new job tomorrow, but you can expand your network a little. Find a group or a class that involves a special interest or something you have always wanted to do. Could be photography or painting or maybe even just a short class on negotiating skills or a sales technique you’ve always wanted to try. It gets you out there to meet new people and starts to expand your comfort zone a little bit.
The Relationship Rut
This probably also falls into the comfort zone rut, but how many people do you know that are desperately clinging to bad relationship? It doesn’t even have to be a marriage or a romantic relationship. I for one have been guilty of desperately clinging to friendships that were obviously broken and doing me no good mentally or emotionally. We wonder what we will do without that person in our lives, even if it’s the regular rut of being constantly hurt by them.
Take stock of your relationships. Nurture the ones that are good for you and step back from the ones that hurt you. No one person should have control over your sense of well-being or emotional health.
The Creativity Rut
This is also known as writer’s block or artist’s block. We don’t have a good idea for new art or the next great novel. So we hunker down inside our self-defeat and say well, if I can’t paint something GREAT, then I’m not going to paint at all! Or if I can’t finish this seven hundred page novel, then forget it, I’m not writing anything else! So there!
The desire to become the next Andy Warhol or James Patterson can be overwhelming. Don’t hold yourself to an ideal perfection. As one writing instructor I heard about put it, just “throw up” on the paper. Make bad art just because you can. Heck TRY to make bad art, it’s fun! Writer Ann Lamott says “write a shitty first draft”. Your first writing doesn’t have to be pretty, that alone is enough to stop most people in their tracks. That’s what editing and second, third or fourth drafts are for! Write something every day even if it’s just one big long whining rant about your boss and your kids and how the cat threw up in your shoe. Do it!
The Work Rut
Workaholics, we all know one, or maybe ARE one. Work becomes such an easy excuse for avoiding change, growth, and even creativity. We say I’m too tired and busy to go find something new and fun to do this weekend. We take on more work and responsibility and think of it as growth and improvement. But what are we leaving behind?
I’ll use myself as example here. I work from home. I worry about allowing myself to “slack” and not get work done, because that of course means I don’t get paid. Over the holidays business got REALLY slow and so of course when it picked up again I worked like a madwoman to make up for lost time. I had also taken on writing work as well as the work I do in the virtual art community. I wondered after a while why I felt like CRAP.
Oh hey, it’s because I’ve been in a work rut so deep I couldn’t see out of it! The nice weather recently really brought that message home to me, when I forced myself into going outside for an afternoon. Oh wow! I almost immediately felt better! It’s nice here outside this rut! The sun is shining, the birds are singing!
It’s the difference between the quantity of the hours worked and the quality. I had gotten so that I was tired and cranky and didn’t want to sit at my desk all day, I’d wander off and do laundry or wash dishes and then come back and stare blankly at my screen for a while. Four hours of work would fill eight hours of the day, so then I would end up working twelve hours to compensate. Once I actually remembered to just give myself breaks, go out and run errands or for a hike to get out of the house, read a book in the evening, the hours that I spent working became less tedious and more productive.
Change Your Course
I’m sure that there are more ruts I haven’t even thought of today, so think about your own ruts in life. You know what they are, and ultimately you are the only one that can get yourself out of them. Write them down and think about what you can do, just one little shift that will get you up and out of that rut and onto a fresher, brighter track. You might be surprised where this new road will lead you!
A Different Kind of Date
17 Mar 2012 1 Comment
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: Awareness, Creativity, Inner Child, Self Reflection
One of my most favorite books ever does not actually so much tell a story as it helps you tell yours. The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron, is sort of combination of spiritual, psychological and technical exercises for helping break writers’ or artists’ blocks and free your creativity. Not just for writers and artists, it can really help you unblock your creativity in nearly any aspect of your life.
One of the tools used in Julia’s guide is something called artist dates, which, I have decided, is something that everyone should do, even if you don’t think you’re an artist.
What is an artist date? Well, it is essentially a date with yourself, with your inner artist, your inner child, as it were. As Julia puts it “… a play date that you plan and defend against all interlopers…” The idea is to give yourself time each week, even if it is just a couple of hours, committed to nurturing your creative consciousness.
We live in a fast forward society. We roll out of bed in the morning and hit the ground running, even if it is only metaphorically speaking. We get ourselves and our families ready for work and school, we walk the dog, feed the pets, commute, shop, work, cook, clean and on and on until we fall into bed again at night. It’s an easy rut to get into, and a hard one to get out of. What the artist date or play date represents is a chance to stop, be creative, be spontaneous, or just be.
But there’s a catch…
You have to do it by yourself…
“What?!?” You might ask. “All by myself? Just me? But what will I DO?” Well, that’s the beauty of it. Do whatever suits your fancy, whatever your inner child, your heart, your spirit needs. It does not have to be expensive. It can be as simple as a walk in the woods, a trip to the zoo or watching the sunset from a beach. Sit and color, go to a bookstore, but do it by yourself. No lover, no children, no pets.
Part of Julia’s concept about artist dates in The Artist’s Way is for you to begin to listen to yourself. To start to pay attention to the inner chatter, have a dialog with that inner artist, and ultimately find solutions to your questions, tap into your creative reserves and allow yourself to create.
There is something more to it though. In our constantly busy lives, how often are we truly alone? And I don’t mean sitting alone in an empty office, or alone cooking dinner or paying the bills. I mean alone with ourselves, allowing our thoughts to wander and our imagination to roam, a little time to ourselves, with ourselves, to just be.
So here is my challenge to you, take yourself on a date this week. Set aside a couple of hours, if that’s all you have, and don’t let anyone or anything interrupt it. Do something that brings you a little bit of joy. Go to an art gallery or a museum, look for shiny rocks on the beach, sit in a café and read a book, or splurge and get a massage. Just make sure it’s only you and only for you.
When we spend so much of our lives catering to the needs and wants of others,![MP900402326[1]](http://spiritualtea.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/mp9004023261.jpg "MP900402326[1]")
we tend to forget to pay attention to our own. We burn the candle at both ends and eventually we are not even giving our best to those we are working so hard for. The world is filled it tense, irritable people who really probably just need a hug, or at least a little frivolous fun and self-reflection.
Give your inner child a little recess, or at the very least convince yourself that taking some time for yourself can help you give the rest of the world a bit more of the real you. You might be surprised what you discover.
Tricia Goes on a Rant -or- If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say, Don’t Say Anything At All.
06 Feb 2012 3 Comments
in Rants, Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: aging, empowerment, Self-esteem, the power of words, women
Okay, brace yourselves. This is purely editorial, no research, and no citations. Just a rant.
It is sparked, I confess, by Madonna’s Super Bowl halftime show; or rather, by the reactions to it I have seen on Facebook, Twitter and other internet sites. In particular, the comments about Madonna being too old, too flabby, to wrinkled, etc.
What the HECK people?????
First of all, how many 53 year old women have you insulted by making these remarks? It’s hard enough in today’s society to feel good about how you look and what you do with your life, particularly as you age. Then, to hear how awful someone like 
Madonna looks, when you’re already comparing yourself to her and how much better she looks than you (even if you’re YOUNGER than 53!), is probably a crushing blow to anyone’s self-esteem.
Then, consider the comments or insinuations that she is too old to be dancing around and singing on stage; something that she LOVES! Does this mean that 53 year old women should stop performing? Should they not enter marathons? Should they not climb mountains? Should they stay home and quietly “act their age” and not present themselves as an affront to the “rest of us”?
There is an alarming propensity in this society to bask in all that is negative, inflammatory and even cruel. Reality TV show hosts tear people apart on national TV. Reality show contestants insult and backstab each other for our entertainment. Websites and print media revel in hunting down or making up negative information about celebrities; pointing out every wrinkle, patch of cellulite, error in judgment or character flaw.
How, in the face of seeing people that we admire and maybe aspire to be like, are we supposed to nurture the last vestiges of our self image?
Political campaigns are filled with hateful attack ads, but we perpetuate the cycle by continuing to vote for the people that condone them.
Our children get bullied in school and on the internet.
They say that children say the cruelest things, but does it occur to us that they might have learned this at home? We come home from our day and vent about our co-workers or customers or people we saw at the store. We criticize their intelligence, their looks, their behavior or their usefulness to society. Sometimes even right to their face.
What happened?? How did we get so… MEAN??
What happened to that old adage, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”
Why has it become okay to tell an empowered, talented, vibrant woman that she is too old?
How can we expect our children to grow up kinder and gentler when these harsh criticisms, mockery and cruelty are so common place?
Let’s start with a little self-censorship. Maybe it’s okay to criticize Madonna’s artistic choices for her halftime show, but really… her AGE?? Her LOOKS?? I say way to go Madonna for having the level of energy, enthusiasm and physical fitness she does at age 53.
Girls, don’t listen to those negative comments? YOU CAN accomplish amazing things regardless of your age. You ARE a beautiful, wise and powerful woman.
Let’s resolve – it’s early enough in the New Year yet – to cut back on unkind words, encourage each other to aspire to accomplish anything and follow their dreams, point out each others good points instead of the flaws.
I confess, I slip and criticize or bitch about people on occasion. I have my opinions and it’s hard not to voice them. But seeing these things happening leads me to consider the cost of words, the energy they can carry. Don’t you think that the more you focus and comment on the negative things in life, the more power you give them?
Stop. Think before you speak. Let go of your negative criticisms. Say something positive. Give back power to the things that are good in this world.
Or don’t say anything at all.
I Feel Your Pain: All About Empathy
23 Jan 2012 3 Comments
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: emotions, empath, empathy, healing, psychic, self-awareness
Empathy is defined as identifying or vicariously experiencing the thoughts, feelings and attitudes of another. It is sometimes confused with sympathy, which is more of a feeling of compassion, particularly towards someone in sorrow or trouble. In a sense you need some degree of empathy in order to feel the compassion or sympathy. Of course there are instances where empathy is ignored, suppressed or maybe even missing altogether, in some people, particularly those with certain mental disorders.
It’s recognizing and responding to emotions that make us human; makes us a little bit easier to live with. Maybe even makes it possible to create a society, live in a community.
Some people take this natural empathy and kick it up a notch. They are acutely aware of the emotions around them, oftentimes without really realizing that is what is happening. They may experience these emotions and believe they are their own, or feel responsible for them. These people are known as empaths; also sometimes referred to as psychic empaths or intuitive empaths.
Dr. Judith Orloff, assistant clinical professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, wrote an article on her site that I found compelling and kind of brought me back to the roots of my own life as an empath. Her article, Are You An Emotional Empath? helps empaths recognize their own traits and gives a wonderful list of suggestions for dealing with the effects.
Here is an excerpt; the quiz that she shares on determining if you are an emotional empath:
QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?
Ask yourself:
- Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?
- If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
- Are my feelings easily hurt?
- Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?
- Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
- Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
- Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
- Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you answer “yes” to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding “yes” to more than 3 indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.
Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them. Staying on top of empathy will improve your self-care and relationships.
I have to admit that even the things on that list I might answer no to right now, 
I have experienced at least a few times in my life. Looking back, I know that I grew up an empath. At least I can most see it in my teenage years, when you’re already dealing with hormones and your sense of identity and self-esteem. It’s a classic case of I wish I knew then what I know now, and even now, I find that I need a reminder.
I have struggled with this for as far back as I can recall. Mostly I remember it as feeling very strongly when someone was sad or angry. My brain translates that into something that I am somehow responsible for. I think that it varies on whether I would feel as though I somehow caused the emotion, or was supposed to somehow be responsible for resolving the emotion.
It can be overwhelming, even painful, not understanding where it’s coming from or how to manage it. Or maybe forgetting to manage it, as in my case.
Elise Lebeau has an interesting website that chronicles her experiences growing up an empath as well as going into all kinds of technical details about the physiology of thought and how we send and receive information. In summarizing how this works with empathy she says;
Let’s take an example to make this more concrete: When someone is angry, there’s all kind of electrical and chemical reactions happening in their body (sweating, getting flustered, faster heart beat). All these changes trigger mild electrical currents that create a magnetic field around their physical body.
As an Empath, you are able to scan this magnetic information to “read” their state of mind: this person is angry. Although the pattern changes from one person to the next, Empaths are able to interpret it and translate it…
Although we are all born Empaths, most of us learn to ignore the information we pick up from other people through their magnetic field. And there’s a very good reason for that…imagine for a moment: every thought, every emotion, from every one on earth is currently generating magnetic information.
As an Empath, you can pick up on all of this! The sheer volume of information is staggering.
Experiencing this unchecked for long periods of time, even years, is not without its side effects. It can be the source of unexplained fatigue, mood swings, depression. If you are unaware you are picking up everyone else’s negative emotional baggage, it can build up to the point of causing physical symptoms, from blockages in the flow of energy in your body to physical pain and disease.
On the positive side, it has the potential to be a wonderful gift. If you can understand that what you are perceiving is not your own, not your responsibility, you can take steps to protect yourself and learn how to use it productively. Many empaths are drawn to healing, healthcare and counseling. It can be a positive tool in psychic and spiritual counseling; helping others see the source of their pain, helping them sort out conflicting emotions.
It wasn’t until I went to college and met my friend and teacher Ruthanne Marble, that I began to see what was going on with me. I understood by that point the term empath. In my years of practicing psychically, being an empath has helped me to see where people are coming from. I have always been a good listener, people confide in me. I am drawn to people who are in trouble.
Then I entered a period of a lot of personal trial. Beginning with the impact of a move to another state and a demanding job, then escalating with the addition of my husband’s mental health breakdown and diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, three miscarriages and all the baggage that entails. 
For a time it was a struggle to get out of bed some days. And while I am excellent at talking with other people about their problems, I am horrible about talking about my own.
For two years I did very little psychic work, healing or counseling. I realize now that you get what you give, and that for me that is sort of an outlet. While this was all going on, I wasn’t paying attention to the fact that I was pretty much just getting pummeled with emotions. From my own, to my husband’s to the stress and emotions from work and my coworkers. I was not protecting myself and it was catching up with me.
I didn’t recognize this really, until I was inspired to write this post.
One of the side effects that comes up when one researches empaths is the feeling of having the weight of the world on your shoulders. The combination of all of it was taking it’s physical toll on me. Dr. Orloff writes:
The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings. However, for better or worse, others, like myself and many of my patients, can become angst-sucking sponges. This often overrides the sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish…
Negativity, though, often feels assaultive, exhausting…
As a subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a buffer… (hmm really??)
When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agoraphobia.
The good news is, empaths don’t have to walk around in a cloud of everyone else’s emotions every day of their lives. Like any gift, it can be controlled. Empaths can learn to recognize what they are feeling is not their own. They can learn to protect themselves.
If you think that you fit this description, you can learn how to control and work with your empathic abilities. If you can find a spiritual teacher, that is a good place to start. Finding someone who can help you clear and balance your energy and learn to shield yourself will make a world of difference in how you feel.
Elise Lebeau’s site offers an Empath Survival Program with a series of tools, techniques and visualizations for learning to “dial down” the emotions and becoming a functioning empath. Dr. Orloff’s site offers techniques for centering yourself and finding balance in the types of situations you find overwhelming. Lisa Campion is a psychic, spiritual counselor and energy healer whose site has great information on visualization techniques for cleansing your energy, shielding yourself and grounding.
Learning to recognize and work with empathic abilities means you don’t have to feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Suddenly that inexplicable feeling of sadness actually has an explanation, and a resolution. If you are looking for someone to talk to about empathy, trust your intuition, for several reasons. As always, the internet is just as full of useless or even harmful information as it is beneficial.
It is important to understand that while there are many wonderful light workers out there, there are also well meaning people who do not really understand what they are doing. There are also, unfortunately, unscrupulous people who are not keeping your best interest at heart. Lastly, it is possible for some of the symptoms associated with being an empath to be related to other mental health concerns. If your thoughts and feelings are concerning or frightening you, please seek professional assistance.
If you would like to talk with me about being empathic, please feel free to contact me. I’m happy to commiserate, discuss techniques for working with it, or help you find a spiritual teacher near you.
Winter Solstice
22 Dec 2011 2 Comments
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: holiday, letting go, light, solstice, winter
Some people approach the winter solstice with gloom and trepidation. The first day of winter, oh god it’s going to be dark and cold for months and MONTHS…
For many of us, though, it’s already been cold for at least a month, or at least cold on and off, maybe since as early as October or September. (Or whatever passes for winter-like weather where you live!) For some, it has already snowed. A lot. So really, the calendar may mark today as the ‘First Day of Winter’, but that is mostly a psychological thing, man’s need to trick himself into believing Mother Nature is not completely in control. (Sure she isn’t!)
Technically, winter solstice occurs exactly when the axial tilt of a planet’s polar hemisphere is farthest away from the star that it orbits. (Wikipedia) For those of us in the northern hemisphere, that was Thursday, December 22, 2011 at 12:30 A.M. EST. While winter solstice is actually more of an instant in time, it is a term more commonly used to describe the day with the shortest number of daylight hours and longest night in the year.
Historically, the winter solstice appears to have had significance is many cultures, with some evidence dating back as far as the Neolithic era, specifically the Goseck Circle in Germany, which is a set of concentric ditches carved into the earth with opening “gates” that line up with where the sun rises and sets on the solstice. Pottery fragments and other artifacts found at the site date it circa 4900 BCE.
More famously, Stonehenge, in England, whose exact purpose remains shrouded in mystery and speculation, would appear to include allowing prediction of the solstice, equinox and other celestial events. Archaeologists estimate it was built anywhere from 3000 BC to 2000 BC.
Similar sites throughout the world, including North and South America, point to how important the movement of the sun and the changing of the seasons was to ancient people.
In modern times we are typically less worried about the starvation that might set in over the winter. Modern grocery stores and the ability to obtain food from all over the world certainly cuts down on our need to have spent the summer and fall stockpiling our food reserves. So, Winter Solstice, as an occasion, is not necessarily our last great feast before winter sets in and most of our ancient superstitions about the solstice have been forgotten through the centuries.
The tradition of Winter Solstice is not completely forgotten however. Many modern traditions and religions honor the day. From the website www.timeanddate.com:
In Poland the ancient December solstice observance prior to Christianity involved people showing forgiveness and sharing food. It was a tradition that can still be seen in what is known as Gody. In the northwestern corner of Pakistan, a festival called Chaomos, takes place among the Kalasha or Kalash Kafir people. It lasts for at least seven days, including the day of the December solstice. It involves ritual baths as part of a purification process, as well as singing and chanting, a torchlight procession, dancing, bonfires and festive eating.
Many Christians celebrate St Thomas’ Day in honor of St Thomas the Apostle on December 21. In Guatemala on this day, Mayan Indians honor the sun god they worshipped long before they became Christians with a dangerous ritual known as the polo voladore, or “flying pole dance”. Three men climb on top of a 50-foot pole. As one of them beats a drum and plays a flute, the other two men wind a rope attached to the pole around one foot and jump. If they land on their feet, it is believed that the sun god will be pleased and that the days will start getting longer. Some churches celebrate St Thomas’ Day on other days in the year.
The ancient Incas celebrated a special festival to honor the sun god at the time of the December solstice. In the 16th century ceremonies were banned by the Roman Catholics in their bid to convert the Inca people to Christianity. A local group of Quecia Indians in Cusco, Peru, revived the festival in the 1950s. It is now a major festival that begins in Cusco and proceeds to an ancient amphitheater a few miles away.
One of my favorite interpretations of Winter Solstice is the Season of Light. Celebrating the return of light to the world. I have been watching the days get shorter and shorter this year, watching the night arrive earlier and earlier. While I am generally a night owl, I can feel the early darkness kind of dragging me down. Perhaps its like I mention in my post You Are What You Think, this kind of dwelling on the darkness getting into my mindset and getting me down. I am ready for the light.
This as a time for letting go of the past, moving out of the darkness and into the light. This is a good practice for anyone, regardless of your spiritual path, regardless of the flavor of your religion. Let go of the past, let go of regrets, grudges, resentment and anger. Forgive. Forgive others, forgive yourself. You can symbolically let go of these negative feelings weighing you down by writing them down, venting all your hurt, stress, distress and anger, then burn the paper (safely please!), let the ashes float away into the darkness. Tomorrow the light returns and the future looks a little brighter.
You Are What You Think
15 Dec 2011 3 Comments
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: Affirmations, Awareness, Change, Self-esteem, Spiritual Growth, Words
I was in the grocery store the other day, I have started going very early since I’m not overly patient with crowds and the inevitable dodging of carts and fellow shoppers and people stumbling around in some sort of shopping coma. Not particularly enlightened of me, I know. Given the right frame of mind, I can navigate crowds pretty well, but I digress. That’s a subject for another post.
I was not so early shopping that other people didn’t have the same idea. I was in one aisle with another woman and her cart. She attempted to move out of my way, but ended up putting her cart right in front of the section of shelf I was headed for. Being in a fairly congenial mood towards my fellow early shoppers, I apologized to her and said I just needed to get that thing right there. She pulled her cart out of the way, also apologizing, which I thought was nice. But as she pushed her cart away, she said something which struck me, “I’m always in the way, it’s what I’m good at.”
Now, said in one way, you might think she was just laughing it off people sometimes do, a bit of self depreciating humor. But she sounded so resigned to this fact, it was almost heartbreaking.
I recall one of my favorite movies, a 2004 film called What the Bleep Do We Know!?It can be a truly life changing film if you take the time to think about its message. And maybe, as I think back to it now, remind yourself periodically of its message.
What the Bleep Do We Know!? mixes metaphysics, quantum physics, self discovery and a little bit of magic to show us a different way of looking at the world around us, and more importantly, ourselves. From the website synopsis; 
“It is part documentary, part story, and part elaborate and inspiring visual effects and animations. The protagonist, Amanda, played by Marlee Matlin, finds herself in a fantastic Alice in Wonderland experience when her daily, uninspired life literally begins to unravel, revealing the uncertain world of the quantum field hidden behind what we consider to be our normal, waking reality.”
Woven throughout the storyline, top scientists and mystics offer commentary and discussion. “They are also there to introduce the Great Questions framed by both science and religion, which divides the film into a series of acts. Through the course of the film, the distinction between science and religion becomes increasingly blurred, since we realize that, in essence, both science and religion describe the same phenomena.”
While I’ve slightly digressed again from the point of this blog, the movie itself is a helpful tool to understand what I am sharing, which is mainly the power of words. Particularly the effect your words have on yourself. How often has the woman at the grocery store said “I’m always in the way.”? Think about saying that about yourself with such resignation frequently, maybe even daily. What effect do you think that would have on you, on your psyche? How long before you truly feel that maybe you are useful for nothing except being in the way?
Another reason I brought up the movie is because of a specific aspect of it. Part way through the movie, the protagonist comes across an exhibit of some of the work done by Masaru Emoto, whose work includes studying changes in the shape of ice crystals in water exposed to various stimuli. Using purified water, he first studied the effects of music on the formation of ice crystals and found that “All the classical music that we exposed the water to resulted in well-formed crystals with distinct characteristics. In contrast, the water exposed to violent heavy metal music resulted in fragmented and malformed crystals at best.”
Next, they wondered what would happen if they wrote words on paper and wrapped the paper around the bottle with the word facing in. Although it didn’t seem logical that the water would ‘read’ the word, the music experiments had led them to realize strange things could happen. They wrote “Thank You” and “Fool” on two separate samples, and the results did not disappoint. “Water exposed to “Thank you” formed beautiful hexagonal crystals but water exposed to the word “Fool” produced crystals similar to the water exposed to heavy-metal music, malformed and fragmented.” A nice synopsis of the study can be found here.
We could hang ourselves up on the science, argue that water can’t read words, wonder at what other forces could contribute to the changes Mr. Emoto found in the water crystals. But maybe it is simply intent. Thoughts. Energy. As the movie’s protagonist examines the photos of ice crystals in the exhibit, a stranger in the crowd turns to her and says, “Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? If thoughts can do that to water, imagine what our thoughts can do to us.” (See the scene on YouTube)
Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
It is hard, I know first hand, not to let your thoughts become the weights that drag you down. Even if you are tired, does repeated thinking, or saying “I am so tired” help you in any way? Or does it simply contribute to the energy of tiredness around you, magnify and intensify, perpetuate the tired feeling. Maybe you feel silly saying out loud “I am energetic!” But perhaps something like that, redirecting your thoughts, focusing on something other than being tired, takes away the amount of energy you put into thinking about being tired, dwelling on it, and making it real. If you are always waiting for the next bad thing to happen, it probably will. Think instead about the positive things you hope to accomplish in your life. Redirect your thoughts to those things.
I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.
A significant proportion of the human body is water. While you’re not likely to freeze yourself solid and examine your ice crystals, you can imagine what they might look like if you did. What would your water crystals look like if you were constantly telling yourself that you are fat, lazy, useless… or always in the way? Imagine the toxic state we put ourselves in by not having kind words for ourselves.
It applies to our physical being, it applies to our life situations. If we think all the time how tight money is, how perilously close to broke we are, how we’re always struggling to make ends meet, are we perpetuating that situation by constantly feeding energy to it? If we can change our focus to positive thoughts regarding our finances, can we change our fortunes?
All the things I want and need come to me.
Years ago, we learned a little positive affirmation trick for money.
Thank you, God, for a miracle involving money today.
Repeat that to yourself. Then, when money comes to you, even if it’s just loose change in the couch cushions, repeat your thank you for a miracle involving money today. It works!
If you find yourself in this rut of negative thoughts and feelings, stop for a moment. Stop the words. Find something nice to say about yourself, or choose a positive affirmation to repeat to yourself and change your thought pattern.
I am beautiful, positive, happy and thankful that all good things flow to me.
If you are struggling and down on yourself, ask someone who loves you to give you positive things about yourself. Think about the positive things in your life, think about your ideal self and voice it out loud. You are a beautiful person, you are a miracle, it is time you treated yourself like one…
The Tribes of Man
25 Aug 2011 1 Comment
in Thinky Stuff Tags: community, culture, globalism, nationalism, peace
I recall once having a discussion with someone about how hard it would be to bring Democracy to the Middle East because of the region’s tribal nature.
According to Carl Salzman, professor of anthropology at McGill University and author of the book Culture and Conflict in the Middle East, tribes are the descendants of a common ancestor on the male line which combine their resources with other closely related relatives against more distant ones, and the whole tribe will then stand together against outsiders. This tribal framework renders it nearly impossible to have a constitution or a regime of law and order, thereby “generating a society where all groups are on an equal basis.” (excerpt from Wikipedia).
In his report, The Middle East’s Tribal DNA, Salzman also states that “These groups are vested with responsibility for the defense of each member and responsible for harm any member does to outsiders. If there is a confrontation, families face families, lineage faces lineage, clan faces clan, tribe faces tribe, confederacy faces confederacy, sect faces sect, and the Islamic community faces the infidels.” (I do recommend reading this report, it’s a great overview of how the tribal system works, if you’re curious.) While the Middle East does have established states and governance, it’s not hard to imagine what kind of impact centuries and centuries of tribal rule and culture have on their modern society.
While it may seem like a lot of useless technical cultural information, it made 
me think; are we really all so different that we’re the same? Is the Middle East just one magnified view of the tribal nature of the world in general? While a country is not necessarily the product of a single male line, you could take into consideration the US’s reverence of the Founding Fathers. Each country of the globe is a bit like its own tribe. Some tribes prefer to live in quiet isolation and avoid conflict and turmoil with the tribes around them. Others would be the ruling tribes, establishing laws, policing the rest of the tribes, acting as the Big Brother, be it benevolent or otherwise.
Some tribes are just fine with the way things are. They don’t want to lose themselves, their culture or their identity in what they see as getting all merged and run together with the rest of the world’s tribes. (AKA Globalization). Meanwhile the Big Brother tribes feel pretty certain that they know what is best, try to police the world, resolve disputes and instill order.
Beyond a sense of tribal place, there are centuries of built up assumptions, prejudices and mistrust. Some of these global ‘tribes’ have a reputation for being aggressive and warlike, others not sophisticated enough, or strong enough. One tribe finds it difficult to trust another tribe so different from their own. Old conflicts and grievances are revisited over and over again.
Cultural beliefs can be one of the strongest forces against unification or globalization in this tribal world. Fears of losing a cultural identity, or of having other belief systems forced upon them. Religious differences are certainly paramount. If my tribe accepts your religious beliefs, does that lessen the power of my own beliefs?
Whether you are part of the “tribe” of the United States or Canada, the tribe of France or Germany, the tribe of Iraq, England, Mexico or China, there is a fear that keeps us from achieving peace. How does each country retain its identity, it’s culture and embrace the idea of united global tribe? How do I accept what you believe while holding on to my own, how do we not lose our culture, what makes us the country we are, some of whom have had nearly as many centuries to develop as those in the Middle East?
Another thing that got me thinking about this was a talk given at the Hudson Institute called Identity, Democracy and the Nation-State which discussed the debate within the academic community about whether a strong national core identity is necessary to democracy, or whether it is ultimately subversive. They discuss the role that immigrants play in defining a culture and the role of globalism and multiculturalism versus religious virtues and traditional Western values in the survival of democracy.
Like the basic steps of self-awareness and personal growth, communities and countries as a whole need to realize (or decide) that it is possible to accept, even embrace, the ideals of others and still keep a sense of identity. Instead of conflicting over who’s ideals are better, focus on healing and true balance.
In The Middle East’s Tribal DNA, Salzman comments that “The tribal notion of balanced opposition has profound implications on modern conflict. The Arab-Israeli debate is polarized and almost every “fact” contested by the other side.” Okay, not only a global tribal mindset, but something you can see happen in our very own government. Fact and counter fact, pro and con, plan and better plan.
Perhaps this is an exceptionally “thinky” post for my typically feel-good blog. But, it was something that I felt warranted consideration. From a neighborhood to a community, from a tribe to a country and extending on outward to a global scale, there is a need to realize that while our cultures, religious ideals and national heritage may differ, we are all driven by the same basic fears. And more often than not it’s fear and misunderstanding that lead to the destruction of peace.
Communication is a Four Lane Superhighway
08 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: communication, community, culture, human interaction, instant messaging, miscommunication, social networking, talking, texting
For a few years now, more so since we moved to another state, I have had my moments of guilt over not calling or writing (emailing) family and friends more. While it doesn’t necessarily excuse the gap in communication on my part, my little mantra of self-comfort has been “communication is a two way street”. Meaning yeah okay I’m out of touch with a lot of people, but they are also out of touch with me. Just as my outbox collects dust except for business communications, so does my inbox collect little more than spam. Well good. Guilt eased. Right?
I recently had the realization however, that a two-way street does not NEARLY encompass all that communication is. Then I cracked myself up with the analogy that in reality, communication is a four lane superhighway. Though that may even be simplifying it a little too much too, unless you say it’s one of those superhighways with the super confusing “can o’ worms” type interchanges. Yeah, that’s it!
Even the information superhighway has nothing over the human communication superhighway. There are twists and turns, merging traffic and do not enter signs everywhere! People talk before they think, react in anger or frustration; others sit and stew on something they should have said ages ago until it becomes a huge source of inner anger and frustration. Family feuds, wars and lawsuits are born because of a bad choice of words or a lack of communication. A point well illustrated in Michael Brewer’s recent blog post Finding Sarah Woodward about one ancestor who was nearly forgotten due to distance and the infrequency of communication that was inherent to her time.
Communication between humans is more than just I called you, you called me, he said, she said. It’s a delicate balance of what to say, when to say it, forethought and afterthought. Miscommunication has been the downfall of empires, businesses and personal relationships since probably the dawn of man.
The Little White Lie
I was just trying to imagine what it would be like if the people who asked me how I am doing today REALLY wanted to know the gory details. While I often DO genuinely want to know how a friend is doing when I say “How are you doing?”, I’m kind of glad that the average person I might say that to in order to be polite simply says “Not too bad!” or “I’m doing well, thanks!” rather than launch into a full description of the corn they had removed, their menstrual cycle or that strange itchy rash they’ve had.
If you do some research on the idea of little white lies, you’ll see that it’s a controversial subject. Like many things, how you look at it hinges on your upbringing, your belief system and perhaps your own empathy towards the feelings of others.
I would personally prefer to hear “You look like you’ve lost some weight!” even it’s not true that have someone point out that I look a bit bloated today. Call me sensitive.
Communication Overload:
Some of us are born communicators. They’ll tell you anything you want to know and probably many things you didn’t want to know! While there is generally nothing negative intended, you may not necessarily care to know the history of every house you drive past, the origin of that street name or the six degrees of separation that author has from Kevin Bacon.
Road Closed for Maintenance:
Communication is also a matter of not making assumptions in either direction. Don’t assume a loved one knows how you feel, or that your neighbor knows why you’re not speaking to him. And conversely, just because someone has been quiet and non-communicative, don’t automatically presume it’s because of something you did, or didn’t do.
What you don’t say can speak volumes, whether you mean it to or not. Maybe you don’t tell a friend or a family member that you love them, because you just assume that they know how you feel. Meanwhile, that person wonders what the heck is going on. Sometimes communication is simply explaining that you don’t feel like communicating today.
Yield Ahead
The modern age of communication lacks a certain degree of inflection that can occasionally make the meaning of what we’re saying murky at best. Instant message, texting, emails and social networks provide a whole range of ways to keep in touch with friends, family and acquaintances, yet at the same time present endless opportunity for miscommunication, misunderstand and itchy send button fingers.
While in person you know that your friend has a penchant for being a smart aleck, in a text only conversation, a single smart remark misinterpreted can lead to disastrous ends. On the opposite end of the spectrum what one person thinks is just friendly, charming banter can get misinterpreted by the other as a come on or personal feelings that don’t really exist.
Rapid fire, heated conversations and short tempers don’t mix well in an instant reply world. Harsh remarks and things send in anger or frustration don’t have an undo button and can result in a lot of back pedaling, apologies and regrets.
Be aware, whether on the sending or receiving end, what this lack of inflection and instant response atmosphere means. Think before you hit the send button, and take what you read with a grain of salt before you allow yourself to feel insulted or injured by it.
Don’t Blame the Navigator
While I am sure there are countless other highway analogies and communication faux pas that I could carry on about for another several hundred words, I’ll close with this. With so many ways to communicate and express ourselves, it’s easy to find a way to lay blame on the bad directions or outdated map. If you choose not to communicate at all about what you want or what upsets you, then you really can’t blame others when you don’t get what you want or they upset you. And remember before you ask, do you REALLY want to know the answer?
Is the miscommunication worth destroying a relationship or starting a war over? Are you itching to reply to someone with a smart remark or witty retort even though you KNOW it could be misconstrued or blown entirely out of proportion? Maybe that bridge out ahead sign was totally meant for someone else!
At any rate, we live in an age where communication is both unavoidable and essential. Maybe it’s a good time to remember not to drive angry on the communication superhighway, and take a deep breath before you get behind the wheel or click that send button.
Safe travels!
Virtual Worlds: Not Just for Sex Anymore.
26 Jul 2011 6 Comments
in Second Life, Thinky Stuff Tags: arts, charity, community, culture, galleries, musicians, philanthropy, Second Life, virtual worlds
For the longest time the virtual world of Second Life received a lot of bad press; mostly as a place to go if you wanted have virtual sex and live out your darkest fantasies.
It is true that if you log into Second Life, or any of the assortment of virtual worlds now available, with the intent to find sex toys, fetishes and overtly sexual avatars, you’ll have no problem finding them. Sex is a part of cultures across the world and when you bring people from across the world together into a virtual space with countless ways to express yourself, it would be more surprising if there was not a virtual sex culture.
That is such a small part of what virtual communities bring to the world that those who focus solely on its vices are missing an expansive cultural phenomenon. These are communities of people for whom country of origin means almost nothing. Friendships, businesses, education, foundations, charities and even marriages happen with minimal regard for political or geophysical boundaries. The virtual platform has become a cultural mecca, launching music careers and giving audience to artists who had not had the courage to share their work before.
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t’s a virtual website for artists, with the ability to go beyond the flat page and showcase their art in a three dimensional gallery to people around the world. The website created by Sasun Steinbeck, Art Galleries of SL, features more the 500 virtual galleries. Not only does Second Life boast a huge range of paintings, drawings, photography and graphics, but has given birth to its own form of virtual art, created from elements within Second Life and often not possible to recreate in the physical world.
Hundreds of live music performances happen daily, giving true meaning to the term world music. Performers range from pop/rock, folk and blues singers to jazz and classical musicians, the virtual world giving them a means to expand their fan base, earn a living and even support causes they believe in. Singer/songwriters like Craig Lyons view Second Life as a green alternative to road tours.
Duo Appassionato, comprised of virtuoso violinists Izabela Jaworower (RL Izabela Spiewak) & Young Zeid (RL Xi Yang) are regular performers; and SL Musician Joaquin Gustav from Buenos Aires, Argentina brings a blend of Latin American guitar to the scene, enabling people around the world to hear music that they may never have otherwise.
Aside from the bountiful cultural possibilities of Second Life, there is a seemingly endless supply of compassion, warmth and encouragement in the form of virtual philanthropy. From the smallest event fundraising for a local organization, to national and international organizations, to spontaneous support of countries across the world in times of disaster, the world suddenly seems a whole lot smaller.
Japan Tsunami Relief
After the devastating tsunami struck Japan a vast majority Second Life residents immediately turned their thoughts and prayers to their friends in Japan. Relief fundraisers sprang up almost immediately. Funds were raised through individual events and went to the Japan Red Cross, UNICEF, Save the Children, International Medical Corps and more. Linden Labs participated on the Second Life Marketplace, selling special virtual teddy bears called Japan Relief Bears. Content Creators and Designers created special lines of items to directly benefit Japanese relief organizations. A new online organization was created, Project FUR Japan, taking into account the animals affected by the tsunami’s deadly toll. The organization has donated its funds raised to JEARS (Japan Earthquake Animal Rescue and Support); an awe inspiring amount totaling nearly $30,000 USD.
Garden for the Missing
Founded by Second Life resident Ronnie Rhode, this virtual building features four levels and 200 posters of missing persons. Rows and rows of posters of lost children, adults and the elderly, some missing for years and years, remind us that there are families out there still waiting for their return. The Garden for the Missing has been an effort on the part of Ronnie to raise awareness about the plight of well over 100,000 missing persons across the US. She now estimates that about 350,000 people who had no idea the magnitude of the cause now do, because of Second Life.
Relay for Life of Second Life
With the arrival of virtual communities, a new opportunity arose. On July 16th, 2011 more than 3,000 individual cancer survivors, caregivers, family members and compassionate supporters from 95 countries joined together for the 7th annual Relay For Life of Second Life. For several months leading up to the Relay, 140 teams formed and began events within Second Life to fundraise for ACS; by the halfway point, the event reached the $1 Million U.S. dollars raised landmark for its cumulative total since the first virtual Relay in 2005.
The fundraising culminated in the most technologically advanced Relay in the world. Consider the sheer number of personal computers combined with the technology required to create and operate Second Life. Not to mention DJs from around the world streaming music for 24 hours, in-world TV stations joining together to host 24 telethon coverage of the event and the virtual campsites of the teams themselves, featuring stunning design and scripting skills. It was truly an incredible experience.
After the last campfire was packed up and the sites put away for another year, the grand total funds raised for Relay for Life of Second Life reached $373,098 USD and the most funds raised in a single relay season in Second Life.
All this really just touches a small fraction of all of amazing cultural connections going on within the virtual worlds. And it’s not just Second Life; the virtual world called Heritage Key is a remarkable place to explore the history of the ancient world, from ancient Egypt to Stonehenge and the Terra Cotta Warriors. With the technology created by Linden Labs becoming open source, many virtual worlds have come into existence, each with their own share of art, culture and innovation from InWorldz, to Reaction Grid and more.
While the physical world struggles to maintain peace and decide whose rules are the right rules, the virtual world is a step or two ahead, embracing cultures and the uniqueness of individuals while bridging the gap between continents.
Animal Magnetism
02 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Self Reflection, Thinky Stuff Tags: Animals, Guardians, Metaphysical, Self-Reflection, Spirit Guides, Spiritual Growth, Spiritualism, Totems
Are you one of those people for whom the day wouldn’t be quite right without discovering a little pet hair on your clothing when you get to work? Does the pitter patter of little feet continue even after the kids have gone off to college? Do you swear you’re not going to get another pet, only to have one show up on your doorstep?
The human race’s affinity for animals is widespread and spans the millennia. What most likely started out as a mutually beneficial relationship has evolved over the centuries. Ancient Romans kept dogs and birds, as well as cats and horses, although they were likely working animals. 7th century Buddhist Monks raised goldfish in ponds and by the 14th century the Chinese were keeping them in bowls as pets. By the mid-1800’s, as middle
class society emerged, more people had the time and the money to keep animals purely as pets. 1
According to the 2011-2012 APPA National Pet Owners Survey, 62% of U.S. households own a pet, which equates to 72.9 million homes, with more than 70 million dogs and more than 80 million cats among the mix. 2 Of course, there are some limits to pet “ownership” like home size, practicality and legal considerations. You’re not likely to find a Siberian
Tiger napping on your bed (unless you’re Siegfried or Roy) or a dolphin in your swimming pool. Many of us have that little bit of fantasy in the back of our minds that we could somehow surround ourselves with all of the animals we have an affinity for.
There are a lot of historical, social and psychological reasons for our connection to animals,
but my purpose here is to get you to look a little bit differently at your connection to specific creatures and what it might mean. What can we learn about ourselves from it? For reasons that are on the spiritual side to me, and probably more on the psychological side to others, there is the possibility to discover a bit more about ourselves and maybe about our path in life from these beings we are drawn to.
Start by just thinking about what particular animal you are MOST attracted to or have the strongest connection with. It doesn’t have to be a domestic animal, though that is certainly allowed. What’s your favorite animal; dog, a cat, fox, deer, dolphin, elephant, caribou? Get yourself a piece of paper, or open up a text document on your computer and write or type the name of the animal.
Now without thinking too hard about it, start writing down words or traits that you associate with that animal. Just whatever short bits come quickly to mind; like strength, wisdom, speed, leadership, power or that sort of thing. Think about how these traits might apply to you and your life. Do you have more strength than you give yourself credit for? Do others rely on your for your wisdom and leadership?
Often the qualities of the animals we are attracted to are qualities reflected in ourselves. In a time of difficulty or struggle, think about this animal and the qualities that you admire. You might even get a little crazy and imagine yourself AS that animal and feel those qualities in yourself. Find in yourself the strength of a horse to power your way through a difficult task, or the cleverness of a fox to quickly think your way out of a tricky situation.
You can go even further into exploring yourself and your life by looking deeper into the meaning, mythology and lore of your chosen animal. Research Native American mythology and learn about the crow’s connection to sacred law or the wolf as a teacher. What did cats represent to the ancient Egyptians? What element or god is it associated with? How does it all relate to where you are in your life and where you’re heading? Or where you’ve been? You might be surprised!
Lastly, you take a look at other animals that might be associated with this animal. Cats and
mice? Dogs and cats? What does your animal eat if left to its own devices? What might eat your animal? Look for the interrelationships there and what those animals might mean
to you in correlation with yours. How does it relate to you and your life? Are you a dog person who has a pesky cat annoying you somewhere in your life? What is the solution to that? (And no, it is NOT eat them!)
Sometimes when we find ourselves stuck in a rut in life, a little self-reflection can be a good thing. Perhaps many things could be substituted for an animal and work in the same way, but given our natural affinity for them, it may simply come more naturally to work with an animal as a reference. Many cultures place faith the in power of totem animals or animal guides and guardians. Maybe the solution to some of modern society’s angst can be found in some old wisdom and an open mind.
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